Beautiful You?

Korea has done wonders for my self-confidence.  When I was in America, I always felt ugly or fat or not good enough.  Partially because of the media and partially because of a personal belief.  However, when I moved to Korea, that attitude went out the window.  It took a while but it did.  I now feel beautiful.  Being told on a daily basis that you are beautiful helps.  Korea slowly worked its magic on me.

When I first got here, I would tell my students and other teachers that I was in fact not pretty or beautiful or anything.  I would disagree with them because I never saw myself that way.  I was always too ugly or fat or whatever.  However, after hearing it for a long time, like the negative that I heard in America, I eventually started to believe it.  I realized that I was beautiful.  Now I am not saying I completely agree with why people tell me I am beautiful here.  I realize that my super white skin, golden hair, and small face make me beautiful and that Koreans are often telling me that because their media tells them what is beautiful and I happen to fit into that category.  Even though I know this, I still feel beautiful.

I think Korea showed me a new Kara and made her confident in who she is.  In America, I thought I was never girly enough to wear dresses, or skirts or super girly clothing.  Korea changed that.  I always wanted to wear that stuff but I never felt pretty enough.  I now realize that I was just holding myself back.  I can wear whatever I want and feel comfortable now.  I no longer worry about what someone will think or say because I like what I wear and I think I am beautiful.

I still have bad days, obviously.  Scars as deep as mine don't heal overnight.  I still call myself fat and ugly but not everyday.  I am now confident with who I am and I thank Korea for that.  This country helped me realize that I am a good person and beautiful in my own way.  <3